Paper of the day

Malaysian English Express

bawah nie kire mcm singkatan untuk english kat malaysia nie hehehe kire kalau mat salleh ckp mcm nie camne kalau org malaysia plak.....nie jokes je okeh

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hallo, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY.
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians: No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ar?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Malaysians: Doe-waaaan!

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're
coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Malaysians: Shaddap lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what see, never see lengchai/lengloi izzit?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die-lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: Wat happen Why lidat????ADUI!!! (jumping to conclusion)

WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you.
Malaysians: Hoi!!!u pig ar lidat also doe no how to do!!!!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me.
Malaysians: Celaka u/LANCAUUUUUUUU/cibai la/puki mak/pu nya ma!!!

How very true this is. But nonetheless, this is the only way we can go to catchup with those developed nations - by doing shortcuts. Easy, brief, yet understable phrases is the way to go! Malaysia boleh!

credit : Wings

My brain kinda dead now and i think it will take a while to be able to properly warm up again.
Not wanting to dissapoints those who come here for a dose of laughters or giggles, I presents to you the best of Cut n Paste!!!



Q: Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters the girl's skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?
A. The boy's hand

Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new HOLES.

Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-days and if
it doesn't come means you are in big trouble.

Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology.
When the baby looks like the neighbour, then it is sociology.

Q: Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a day as I have advised?
A. Lady: Doctor, I thought you had said 3 males a day

Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed.
A. Tarzan asked "Why"? The animals told him "your tail is in the
front"

credit : Wings

Remember, remember, the fifth of November,

Remember, remember, the fifth of November,
The gunpowder treason and plot.
I know of no reason why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.
Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes,
'Twas his intent
To blow up the King and the Parliament.
Poor old England to overthrow.
By God's providence he was catch’d
With a dark lantern and burning match.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, let the bells ring.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King!
Hip hip hoorah!
Hip hip hoorah!



A penny loaf to feed ol' Pope,
A farthing cheese to choke him.
A pint of beer to rinse it down,
A faggot of sticks to burn him.
Burn him in a tub of tar,
Burn him like a blazing star.
Burn his body from his head,
Then we'll say ol' Pope is dead.
Hip hip hoorah!
Hip hip hoorah!

Lagu untuk hari nie...

Artist: Nidji
Song: Hapus Aku

Kutuliskan kesedihan
Semua tak bisa kau ungkapkan
Dan kita kan bicara dengan hatiku

Buang semua puisi
Antara kita berdua
Kau bunuh dia sesuatu
Yang kusebut itu cinta

Chorus:
Yakinkan aku Tuhan
Dia bukan milikku
Biarkan waktu waktu
Hapus aku…

Sadarkan aku Tuhan
Dia bukan milikku
Biarkan waktu waktu
Hapus aku…

Lagu nie aduh melekat kat kepale otaku

Begitu la rasanya...
Bila bukan kepunyaanku
Hapuskan la aku sekali...

assalamualaikum....

slamat pagi sumer...mulekan pagi anda dengan senyuman kerna anda ada byk cabaran lagi di depan anda chewahh. hari nie aku dtg lambat sket kat opis nie. nak tau apesal? saje je layan tido ngan derungan hujan di pagi hari selepas sahur. lame gile tak hujan pagi tu yg layan lentok tidoq tu ehhehe. takpe skali skala je bukan slalu.

wekend hari tu takde pe2 biase saje. tiada benda yg menarik berlaku. cume sekarang nie yg penting kehidupan mesti diteruskan. walaupon jatuh dari tangga ke, break ke ape ke, kene saman ke, baru kawin ke. life must goes on.

aku? mcm nie ajelah masih mencari2 meraba-raba dlm kecerahan. hui tudia ayat. insyaAllah setiap benda yang berlaku ade hikmahnyer. dan semalam kawanku ade ckp sumer benda yg kite nak tak semestinyer kiter akan dapat. tapi aku ade pendirian aku sendiri. setiap benda yg kiter nak kalau ade usaha insyaAllah kiter akan dpt. tapi tak tau bile. depend pada usaha and effort seseorang itu. skali lagi kiter jgn luper yg segala ape yg kiter buat, semuanya akan ditentukan oleh Allah swt. dan kiter jgn luper jugak utk meminta pertolongan dari yg Esa sebab kiter nie golongan yg paling lemah.

pagi nie aku bgn dengan penuh harapan agar menjadi hari yg terbaik utk aku. kerna setiap hari adalah hari trbaik utk aku. tak kirelah ape benda yg terjadi pada aku sumer itu adalah dugaan dari yg Maha Esa. so terimalah dgn hati yg tabah.

hehehe pendek kater always smile and gembira.