Dear IT Support

Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your
CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?

Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?

Customer: Yeah....

Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?

Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in
the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....

Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

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Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

Customer: A white one...

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Tech support: Click on the "my computer" icon on the left of
the screen.

Customer: Your left or my left?

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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.
Every time I try, it says, "Can't find printer." I've even
lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor,
but the computer still says he can't find it...
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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?

Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the
supermarket.
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged in to the computer?

Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.

Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer: OK.

Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer: Yes.

Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is
there another keyboard?

Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does
work.
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Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in
apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.

Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
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Customer: I can't get on the Internet.

Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five stars.
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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?

Customer: Netscape.

Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.

Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a
screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the
mouse, it disappears.
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Tech support: How may I help you?

Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter "a" in the address, but
how do I get the circle around it?
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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem
with her printer.

Tech support: Are you running it under Windows?

Customer: No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a
good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is
under a window, and his printer is working fine.